This Is My Story
10/5/2022
Written By: Stephen Cox
We all have one. I’ve heard it many times and in many iterations…but I was reminded again in our small group Sunday night. Everyone has a story. I am certainly going to submit mine to https://victorycc.life/2023LifeChangeStories and I invite you to do the same.
You may or may not know this about me…but my path to where I am now was anything but laser-like. I started attending church in utero. I’ve sung all of the songs, read all of the verses, seen all of the flannel-graph. I was a pretty good kid, I suppose. I knew from a relatively young age that God was calling me into ministry. As you will see, I can be a slow learner…or maybe a stubborn follower. This is certainly open to interpretation.
I was into sports and I was most likely going to be the next Gary Carter (1980’s catcher for the New York Mets, just for clarification) or the next Dan Marino. As I got older, I wanted to play snare drum in Phantom Regiment (Drum Corps International). Just before I went to college I wanted to be a Physical Therapist and go into Sports Medicine. Throughout my 6.5 years from high school graduation to college graduation I majored in pre-physical therapy, music, got kicked out of college, and history (I realize getting kicked out of college isn’t a major…it’s actually the LACK of a major…but I digress).
That last paragraph seems all over the place. Thus is my brain. Many of those things seem disconnected and unrelated to most people, especially if you don’t know me well. And here’s why. Behind every decision, behind every turn, behind every change of major or lack of major…there is a story. Our lives are the sum total of decisions, turns, actions we have done, actions done to us, inactions, rewards, consequences, and on and on. At each turn. At each action. At each decision…there is a story.
I’m not allotted the words pace to go into all of it…but throughout college and on to college graduation I had several life-changing experiences and friendships. I sang with one of the top Men’s Choruses in the world, I traveled to Europe, I worked three summers as a professional actor in outdoor historical dramas and decided I was moving to New York City to pursue a Broadway career (I told you…my brain!).
It was in the closing few months before my move…God truly got my attention. I was the musical director for Godspell and through hearing those stories from the Gospel of Matthew over and over and over again…I shifted gears once again. But this time…I decided to follow God’s Call on my life into full-time ministry. I enrolled at Kentucky Christian University…met Kimberly…got to travel to Cuba and present the Gospel in song to the people of Cuba in their own language with KCU’s Concert Choir. And I embarked on 13 years of ministry with my wife and eventually two kiddos!
When my chapter of full-time, located ministry ended, I entered ministry in a different way…the public school classroom. And this is where we’ll draw things in today.
My first foray into ministry in the public school classroom was at a charter school whose focus was trauma-informed education. Two phrases have changed my entire perspective on how I view people. That experience in that charter school shaped much of who I am today as a friend, educator, coach, dad, and husband. And it is continuing to help me as I minister in all circles of my life.
This one phrase struck my heart like a heat-seeking missile: “There are no bad kids…only kids doing bad things.” In essence, behind every action, behavior, cuss word, punch, outburst…whatever…there might be a trauma. He’s not a bad kid…maybe he is food insecure. She’s not a bad kid…maybe she has been exposed to things no 13 year old should ever see. There are no bad kids…only kids doing bad things. The second phrase is “Every student has a story.” This is similar to the first…but it was more of an invitation to get to know students. Get to know their story. And invest in the student as a human being…not just a kid at a desk.
I have had the opportunity to show Christ’s love to hundreds or students both in and out of the walls of the church. These last 7 years in the classroom have allowed me to understand on a deeper level how much pain and heartache today’s students go through and how just one caring adult can make a world of difference. But I have also come to realize that colleagues are watching too.
Things have kind of come full circle. I was going to play professional baseball or football and now I get to coach football and softball. And there are times that is much tougher than you might imagine! And when the classroom and the athletic arena collide, crazy things can happen. One day, a player who has a propensity to make less-than-stellar choices was called into the coach’s office. We all had an opportunity to speak and address the student-athlete.
When our athletic trainer spoke up, he ended his time by saying, “When you get ready to do something stupid, just think to yourself, ‘What would Coach Cox do?’” I was floored! A guy who is great with the athletes, great at his job, played college football, and now deals with high school athletes every day…he noticed there was something different. I was accused of being different…of being a Christian.
Share your story. Seriously. Share it. People need to hear it. People need to know there is a better way to do life. But don’t just tell your story…listen to the stories of others. There is a powerful bond that God fuses when we share our stories and allow others to share theirs. We sharpen each other and encourage one another and build one another up as we follow the only One who can connect us back to God.