Spiritual Friendships
6/8/2022
Written by: Christina Gregory
I didn’t grow up with a large group of girlfriends. I had friends, but they weren’t deep friendships…mostly wide. I only keep in regular contact with a handful of friends from high school and college. There’s probably a long list of deep rooted issues responsible for my keeping friends at arms length that I won’t dive into here. Let the record show this is a me issue, no one else is to blame. But I always loved kids! Kids would be my calling!
I didn’t realize I was lonely until I left the workforce to stay home full-time. Up to that point, I was busy and tired enough to stick with Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm friends. I had just turned 30 that year, and in my quest to be my best self, I had just joined a new small group.
The wonderful and persistent women forced me to attend my first women’s conference in the very posh city of Columbus, IN. I was not excited. My baby was just healing from pneumonia. I have very specific sleeping requirements that never include sharing a room with 3 other people. Spending a whole weekend with 50 other women from our church in another city just seemed silly.
During our free-time that dreary Saturday afternoon, my group ventured up to a sweet, little city…Franklin, IN. I had never even heard of it. It was love at first sight! I decided then I needed to make this place my home. A few months later, I brought my husband here on a day date to show him around. That night we met our realtor (now friend) at Greek’s and we made the move about 4 months later!
We quickly made Victory our church home and truthfully, I did my best to just blend in. We never even picked up our free gift from the Connection Center because I just didn’t want to stick out! You know what’s insane? Doing nothing different in a new town, at a new church, during the winter in Indiana and wondering why you’re even lonelier than before. I knew I had to try something different.
First, I prayed for godly friends. This profound idea wasn’t mine. I was shook when praying for friends was suggested…why hadn’t I been doing this all along? Of course God wants me to have friends who love Him! I also didn’t want to fall back into the same wide but not deep friendships I had in the past.
This quote has since been my focus within my friendships…”If you want spiritual friendships, you have to be a spiritual friend.” You could exchange “spiritual” for any word. Generous, attentive, thoughtful, fun. Basically, I didn’t need to wait for my friends to be a spiritual friend for me to be one in return. It starts with me!
The Lord more than filled my cup with friends. He ran it all the way over! Not only for me, but for my husband and my kids too! We are surrounded by so many incredible friends. Friends we’ve traveled with, spent holidays with and quarantined with! Friends who have walked with us through the hardest seasons and celebrated the biggest wins with us. This is truly one of my favorite stories of the redeeming work God has done in my life. But God rarely does just the bare minimum when answering prayers.
Since kids were my calling, I signed up to be in the Kindergarten class on Sunday mornings at church. I got one week under my belt before traveling across the country to attend IF:Gathering with my dear friend and spiritual mentor only for God to make it quite clear that children’s ministry is not my calling. Women’s ministry is where my heart is at!
Five years to the day that I attended my first women’s conference, I hosted my first women’s conference at Victory. I went to both, scared and unsure if I was ready. I left both knowing that God wanted me there.
Women’s ministry isn’t something I do for me. I sincerely do it because I know how it feels to not know where to start with faith and friendships. I love helping bridge that gap between a relationship with God and friends for the women in our community. It’s not God’s will for us to live life lonely.
Matthew 18:20 says “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.” With Christ at the center of your friendships, He attends every dinner, girls/guys night, coffee date, play date, etc. I love this promise!
The women’s ministry team is excited to be hosting a Brunch + Book Swap on June 25th from 10am-12pm at the church! If you can relate to feelings of loneliness, I, of course, want to encourage you to join, but more specifically I just want to encourage you to first pray for godly friends and then try something different. Even if you’re scared. Give God the space to bring you out of loneliness like He did me!