Remember WHOSE You Are

1/20/2021

Remember WHOSE You Are

Written By: Nancy Purtlebaugh

As I write this, my oldest is driving back to Purdue. He has been home quite a bit more due to the pandemic. We enjoyed the gift of the extra time we got to spend together as a family. Whenever he leaves to go back I often hear some of the same questions. “Do you miss him? Do you worry about him?” The answer in a nutshell is, yes. Really the answer is more complicated, though. As parents we have nurtured and cared for them their entire lives. That is not our only job though-we are to prepare them for leaving us. I know Mommas, this is tough. They are not meant to be with us forever though. God gave them to us to raise to be His servants-to live for and glorify Him. It’s more than loving them, protecting them, and providing opportunities for them. Sure, that’s part of it—but it’s about teaching them how to be Christ followers on mission for God. We believe that is our most important job as parents. Constantly reminding them where their identity lies, so they will remember who they are in Him.

Awhile back I read a book by Lysa Terkeurst where she talked about what she said to her kids as they left the house. She would say “Remember who you are, and more importantly Whose you are.” Who you are is who you represent as you leave—your family, your school, your church, etc. What are the values, morals ,and character you have been taught and expected to uphold? Whose you are—You are God’s child, bought with the precious blood of Christ, because He loves you that much! How do you want to represent Him? Always with the reminder that there is grace for every mistake, but that grace didn’t come cheaply. So, a pause to remember whatever they are doing will represent those they are attached to, and the One who made them. I loved this idea and from that day forward I no longer said “Be good” when they left. (Just ask my 17 year old, I said it to him a few nights ago before he drove away). Honestly we can never be good enough, but the reminder of who we are and Who He is can and will change our behavior. Even if it doesn’t, the reminder that He extends grace frees us from the guilt and shame when we do mess up. This also will hopefully spur them to talk to us or someone else when they do mess up or are struggling with something.

There are several things that have and that are helping us on this journey of parenting:

Being in the word and spending time in prayer-This is crucial! How can we teach them who they are to be like if we don’t know who He is? As we parent, He is the most important person to bring it all to. Just spending a few minutes each day is a great start! Also, spend time with your kids doing this exact thing. We try and have family devotion time each day.

Surround yourself with other Christ followers-find a church and get involved in a group. Do the same for your kids! Take them to church and as they get older make sure they are involved in their age appropriate programming and groups. We need to be surrounded by those who are going the same direction we are.

Communicate with them- Constantly talk to them about everything! And I do mean everything! Yes, even the uncomfortable conversations. If you don’t, someone will. Keep reinforcing where their identity lies and how much they are loved. When people ask me those questions- do you miss him, do you worry, etc—I have a new perspective on it. This is his junior year in college, so although I still miss him it’s not like it was when I dropped him off the first time. That was more difficult than I expected. I also try not to worry because I trust that God can take better care of him than we can. We have taught him most of what he needs to know up to this point, and we are just a phone call away. Leading up to that first time of dropping him off God laid a scripture on my heart to memorize. I hope this helps you today.

Rejoice in the Lord always! I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all, the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:4-7