Preserved and Highly Favored
12/18/2024
Written By: Christina Gregory
If you ask a room full of elementary age girls what they want to be when they grow up, you’ll hear doctor or nurse, a teacher, for the especially ambitious, maybe an astronaut. But as for me, well I wanted to be a model.
I daydreamed of being discovered by a modeling agent like Kate Moss, when she was 14. I carried myself chin up, shoulders back, into every room hoping I’d catch the eye of the right person someday. I never, ever missed a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show or America’s Top Model. I had scrapbooks full of photos of Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford and my favorite, Tyra Banks.
Now allow me to ease your concerns of early childhood vanity. To say I grew up in a small, predominantly white community would be an understatement. I was the only person of color in all of my elementary school years, most of my middle school years, and I was one of a handful throughout high school.
We didn’t have straighteners that worked and curls were expected to be suppressed then, so my hair was unruly. My eyebrows were a unibrow of thick, dark hair…I didn’t know how good I had it with those. My lips, while actually a perfectly average size, seemed much too large and dark compared to my classmates. I was humbled regularly by a steady flow of racial slurs my entire K-12 career and I was mocked for my desire to be a model. So no, this had nothing to do with a surplus of self confidence. I just loved being in front of a camera.
Between my parent’s obvious suspicions of the industry and my fear of rejection, I never pursued anything and I was never scouted while walking through the mall. By my mid 20’s I accepted my age and my slender frame growing more squishy disqualified me entirely. My window of any slight opportunity had passed and I had accepted it.
But in 2020, my husband and I were asked by a friend turned magazine published, jaw dropping artist of a photographer to do a stage wedding shoot. It opened up so many windows of opportunities for me in the modeling world. I’ve had the privilege of working in bridal, jewelry, hair care products, and beyond. I’ve met so many wonderful people and I’ve represented companies who truly make a difference in the world. And while my resume will never come close to rivaling that of my childhood idols, modeling is just as much fun as I thought it would be. I still just love being in front of a camera!
Honestly, as an adult I consider it a mercy that my dreams didn’t come true when I was a child. My morals were pliable, my character was fragile, and my desire to be accepted would have dictated all of my actions. I am certain that I would have worked myself into a position that would have compromised who I would eventually become today, and that cost is too great for me to mourn any alternative life I “lost.”
But as a child…as a teen...as a dreamer…this felt like a failure. I felt like a failure. But not because I wasn’t a model. But because I also wasn’t the smartest in any room. My name would never grace the list of impressive athletes. I have no artistic ability. I can sing okayish. You don’t want me to dance. I don’t have a college degree. I didn’t excel at anything! It felt as if I stuck out and blended in in all the worst ways. Like God had forgotten to give me anything but this childhood trauma induced humor to work with. And what I wish I could tell little me isn’t “Your time will come!” I wish I could tell me “You aren’t being forgotten. You are being preserved.”
My character and morals, my reputation, my actions, my past and my future were all being preserved. Preserved to honor my family. Preserved for my husband. Preserved for my children. Preserved so I could face myself. Preserved for the Kingdom.
I know when a company asks for me to model for their brand it’s because they’ve heard that I’m kind, easy to work with, I have a good attitude, I’m on time, I’m flexible, I’m an encourager, my character off set is a good reflection of their mission. My reputation precedes my appearance.
God allows all of us to flow in and out of seasons of waiting, hoping, dreaming. It’s always for a purpose. For me, it was preservation.
But Sarah, she wasn’t being forgotten, she was being set apart as the “mother of nations.” (Genesis 17:16)
Esther wasn’t being hidden, she was being called forward “for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)
Rahab wasn’t broken, she would be a savior, procuring the lineage of our Savior. (Joshua 6:17, Matthew 1:5)
Mary wasn’t rejected….she would be called “highly favored.” (Luke 1:28)
Friend…your “not right now,” your waiting, your pain isn’t the whole story. You are being set apart, called forward, used to grow the Kingdom, parts of you are being preserved, because you too are highly favored.