That hits you right in the spiritual gut, doesn’t it? There is no way of adding a disclaimer to that statement to exclude you from its truth. Right or wrong, justified or not, we make the choice to be divided.

This past week, I have been thinking a great deal about parenting. Can we have real talk? Lately, I have struggled to extend grace and forgiveness. When my girls were in in their younger years, I envisioned we would arrive at some magical age where the intensive labor of parenting would ease and the load would be become lighter. Oh, how naïve we are when our kids are little! I find that parenting a teenager and young adult is the most labor-intensive work of my life. There is a natural resistance to authority and need for independence on their part, and a natural need to oversee and direct on my part. As my fellow parents know, this can create some hard conversations as well as hard feelings.

I have been angry this week, and sorely tempted to live in that anger. I have held onto it, nurtured it, and intentionally chose it over peace and reconciliation. I turned away and closed off my heart. I choose division and it created distance between me and my girls. Is my anger warranted? Yes, absolutely. Am I right to choose division? Not so much. You see, every step and turn I made away from my girls caused my heart to grow hard. And yet, despite my rigidness, that small still voice would whisper to me: I have covered you in grace. Freely you have received, freely you should give. All my efforts to resist the direction of the Holy Spirt are utterly futile. No matter what justification or excuse I use, He is still there and His truth stands. My rebellion and resistance do not change who He is.

One of the great challenges of parenting is to live out the example of grace with our children as a witness. Our natural instinct is to react when we experience an offense, or an injury to our hearts. We tend to turn inward and withdraw ourselves from the offender. Is this necessarily wrong? No, we are human beings with real emotions. However, the choice to stay divided, to stay away and stay separated in our heart is in stark contrast to the example of Christ. We can try to justify our actions, but remember this; all things dim in the light and truth of the cross. Jesus poured his life out for us, and gave us grace we do not deserve nor will ever deserve. His love, mercy, and compassion toward us knows no bounds, and continues to pursue us. We should do no less.

Parents, the enemy would love nothing more to create a great divide between you and your child. If he can create division, then your bond will suffer and slowly you begin to lose credibility. Your witness to them will become damaged and ultimately your influence over their faith. That is exactly what the enemy wants, and we must be aware of his plan. It’s a divine design that our children first come to know the characteristics of God through our influence as parents. Our children will come either be drawn to or pushed away from God through our actions. Every word and action plants a seed for the kingdom of righteousness or for the kingdom of this world. God grant us the wisdom and the surrender to live a life that is in the image of Him. Parents, stay diligent. You are the warrior blazing the path and setting the example for eternity.