Fear Is Not My Future

3/15/2023

Written By: Nancy Purtlebaugh

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

I know this probably sounds dramatic, but I used to live my life around fear. I was afraid of so many things–more than I would care to count. I was afraid of the dark, afraid of bugs, afraid of people not liking me, afraid of becoming overweight. I was afraid of dying, of people leaving me, of what the future held for me……..and the list goes on.

I put so much thought into these things. Some of these fears I allowed to consume me to the point of obsession. I know now, but didn’t recognize then, what we feed grows, and what we starve dies. I kept feeding all the fears and starving what I needed to grow.

The more I fed and focused on my fears, the more anxious I became. The more self-conscious I became. The more miserable I was.

I grew up in church, and I knew the answers, but I had walked far enough away that I was having trouble steering myself back to where I needed to go. My fear caused me to walk in a path of lies.

–You will not be loved without a man in your life
–You must look a certain way in order to be accepted by others
–You will never be good enough to walk back into church–you are stained, you are used, you have allowed others and yourself to abuse your body in a way that God would never accept you again!

But then I sat down in my hairdresser’s chair for the first time. She was tattooed, pregnant, unwed–talking to me about Jesus. She invited me to church, and she continued to invite me. Every time I sat in her chair and I kept going back.

This girl was nothing like the people that went to my church growing up and God used her in a big way! So finally, I went.

You know what didn’t happen? No one threw me out. In fact, everyone was so nice. I started attending regularly with my family. I started feeding myself in a new way. I started reading His word, praying, and surrounding myself with other Jesus followers again.

Over and over the Bible says to fear not. But God doesn’t leave us there. He didn’t condemn me or make me feel guilty for my fears. You know what He says most of the time after that? Fear not, FOR I AM WITH YOU. He wants us to remember that he is right there with us, carrying us through the fear.

Clearly I am still afraid sometimes, but I can say in all honesty the closer I have grown in my relationship with Jesus, many of those fears have diminished or disappeared over time. When they haven’t or they don’t? I know HE IS WITH ME every step of the way. He reminds me to replace the fear with His truth.

That love I was searching for--that guided most of my fear--there’s a verse for that (or a few hundred). There is no fear in love, but Perfect Love drives out fear. – 1 John 4:18

My appearance took me a bit longer, He still works with me on this one, but He is so patient with me. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well. – Psalm 139:13-14.

I have the amazing privilege to serve with our worship team at church and was able to be a part of our worship service Sunday night. We sang a song that we have sang so many times before–but Sunday night, it hit me in a whole new way. I could write all the lyrics out, but I want you to go listen to it. I will leave you with some of them. You should know without a doubt that life with Jesus will help you face and defeat so many fears you have because He is your future when you allow Him to fill your life.

Thank you Jesus for rewriting my story. He can and will do the same for you if you allow Him to. Can’t you just feel the chains breaking away as you walk away from that life of fear into the glorious future He has planned for you?? Take that step, friend!! He is there waiting.