Discerning Hurt

4/12/2023

Written By: April Mills

Church Hurt.

We have all heard of it, and many of us have experienced its sting. This is a complex topic within the church, and because of this, I cannot begin to cover the scope of this issue in one devotional writing.

If you were to try and pare down the broad spectrum of church hurt into something neat and tidy, you might simply describe it as emotional, spiritual, financial, or physical harm caused by the church. Sounds easy enough, right?

Well, no, not really. You see, we are a complex people with complex emotions and thought processes in which we filter through the lens of our experience and belief system. Church hurt may look different to each of us as our experiences are unique to us. For the sake of this dialogue, we will focus on a common area of hurt that many of us experience: offense.

At some time or another in our church life, we have been offended by someone in the church. We have had our feelings hurt. We have been slighted in some way that was hurtful. Unkind words were spoken, a friendship wasn’t extended, a rumor made its way back to you or a harsh criticism landed on your heart. And because we expect more from God-loving, Jesus-following people, it cuts deeper and often is slower to heal.

Let me challenge you in this, friend. Was it a church hurt or a relational hurt? Are we painting the church with a broad paint brush every time we feel wounded on some level? We have to be careful here, saints. The enemy looks to divide and scatter the church. We have to safeguard our hearts and understand there is a difference between true church hurt, and an offense by another church going member. Doesn’t mean it hurts less, but it means the source is different.

Trust me when I say I understand what it means to be hurt within the church. I get it. I spent years carrying a boulder sized chip on my shoulder due to wounds and disappointments. I was finished with church people and the church. Done. Finished. No more.

God desires we gather with the saints, and in His mercy and love for me, He began a healing work in my heart. He helped me to see and understand it wasn’t the church that hurt me, but a few people within the church. You see, leadership didn’t twist the Word, misuse resources or abuse anyone in any manner. No harm was done to me (or anyone) by a pastor, or any one on leadership. They were without offense. My wounds happened by a handful of people. My offense and hurt were relationally based, not church based.

After we experience a hurt within the church, we are tempted to consider leaving. Isolation looks comforting and safe. Don’t be fooled, church. That’s exactly what the enemy wants. The enemy wants you to become separated from the saints. Don’t allow hurt feelings or disappointments keep you from the house of God. I know it can be hard to walk back in after your heart and spirit have been bruised. The church needs the gifts and talents God has given you for the Kingdom, and you need the Church. We must keep our focus on God, as He is perfect. His love for us is perfect and can heal all hurts.

I am confident that better theologians than I could insert numerous Scriptures into this text that would bolster the argument on being faithful in your commitment to the church, as well as speak to forgiveness and healing. However, I return to the Scripture that motivated my heart to let go of hurt and propelled my feet forward toward the open door at Victory. I try to use it as a compass in how I live my life and it motivates me in every way. I pray it speaks to you as well.

Mark 12:30-31:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”