Despite My Superstitions

9/13/2023

Written By: Christina Gregory

I’m a little superstitious. I won’t try to rationalize it. I’ve lived under the mercy and grace of our Father long enough to know better. But you can still find me holding my breath while passing a graveyard, knocking on wood, and wishing on 11:11am/pm. Some of them are just youthful habits, while others are more like a side-eye to God warning Him not to mess with me because I’m sensitive!

One of our requirements with our adoption agency was to each complete 30 hours of educational courses. There were dozens of options and they were available via on demand webinar, podcast, articles or books. There was a wide range of topics from Impacts of Trauma, Embracing Openness, Parenting a Child of Another Race, etc. Each one truly softened our hearts towards the delicate relationship that is open adoption.

But there was one topic I wouldn’t even consider educating on. I would come across it and in my mind or maybe even sometimes out loud I’d say “Nope!” Anything medical was simply off limits. I didn’t want to educate on pre-existing conditions or fetal-alcohol-syndrome or drug exposure or anything that broached the subject of medical needs. As if somehow even hovering my cursor over the titles would open a portal that would engulf us into a world of long hospital stays and endless doctor’s appointments and medical equipment. It wasn’t that we were against parenting a child with medical needs, I was just against jinxing them!

My son was born into a room full of anticipation and fear, and so much love. He was perfect and chubby and gray and silent and sick. Each day a different doctor would educate us on a different possibility. Each day we would adjust a little more to this new normal where absolutely nothing was normal at all. We were forever changed inside of those four walls of the NICU that seemed to grow smaller every day. We were now, against all my finger crossing, wood knocking, wishing on a star, a medical family.

My lack of educating…my flat out refusal to face the possibilities didn’t stop the hard stuff from coming. God didn’t see my ignorance as an obstacle. Instead, He promoted me overnight. And while my son's lung disease is not God’s karma toying with my superstitions, it is a result of the fallen, broken world that we live in. It falls into the promise that, “In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33)

In 1 Peter 4:12 Peter warns his readers:

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”

I want to extend the same urgency to you, Beloved. Whether trials come for your marriage, your children, your family or friends, your health, etc, it is surely coming. Guard what is under your influence through constant prayer, regular repentance where repentance is due, and listening to the prompting of the Spirit. Is there something in your life that you’ve been leaving on idle? A hard conversation you’ve been avoiding? Forgiveness you’re withholding? An appointment you’ve been too afraid to make out of fear of the results? Are there words you’re even too afraid to pray in fear of bringing it to life?

I know it feels easier to avoid the hard stuff. But living with our guards down is an open invitation for evil to destroy what God meant for good. Yes, even the trials that God meant for good. Instead of being passive and indifferent about the things that seem to be currently stable, I want to encourage you to radically defend what God has entrusted to you.